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Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

11.06.2025 02:30

Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I can count

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I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I see through liars

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

What if Supergirl was a baby and not a teenager when she left Krypton? Who do you think will find her? What do you think things would be like?

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

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I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I actually pay taxes

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

What are the best items to buy from a furniture shop?

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I don’t cotton to rapists

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

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Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I understand how hurricane paths work

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

What are some dirty secrets of Indian (Bollywood, etc.) actors and actresses?

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I have complete contempt for fakery

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I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

Why does my sister want to have sex with me? What should I do?

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

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I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I have complete contempt for traitorism

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I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I know who the president of Turkey really is

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I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I can read

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I have a reading level above third grade

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I don’t buy bullshit

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter